Roadtrip
by GrimmUlquigrrrl
Summary: Grimmjow is ecstatic when his boyfriend, Ulquiorra, asks him to tag along for a roadtrip to see some old "family" of his. Grimmjow has always known Ulquiorra's past, but suddenly living together like this... can their relationship handle it?
1. Chapter 1

Grimmjow slid the rolling handle of the suitcase down, hefting it into the trunk of his black Honda Pilot. He couldn't believe they were doing this- a one-week roadtrip, just the two of them, to surprise one of his boyfriend's old foster families. Grimmjow was the luckiest guy on earth. Just the fact that Ulquiorra trusted him enough to do this meant a lot, considering his past. Actually, the fact that he'd told Grimmjow his past meant a lot, considering his past.

Ulquiorra's parents had thrown a wild party one night when Ulquiorra was five, and a lot of their friends had been there. A lot of booze had been there too. Everyone had gotten completely plastered, and when little Ulquiorra had realized that he wouldn't be able to get to sleep until the music quieted down he went downstairs. That had been his mistake. A group of drunk men had seen him before he found his parents, and they- they raped him, in turns. Grimmjow didn't like thinking about it.

He closed his trunk door, seeing his reflection for only a moment in the glass. Everyone else thought he looked dangerous with his wild blue hair and his green triangle tattoos under the corners of his eyes, but Ulquiorra didn't. and Grimmjow didn't think Ulquiorra, to surprise one of his boyfriend's old foster families. Grimmjow was the luckiest guy on earth. Just the fact that Ulquiorra trusted him enough to do this meant a lot, considering his past. Actually, the fact that he'd told Grimmjow his past meant a lot, considering his past.

Ulquiorra's parents had thrown a wild party one night when Ulquiorra was five, and a lot of their friends had been there. A lot of booze had been there too. Everyone had gotten completely plastered, and when little Ulquiorra had realized that he wouldn't be able to get to sleep until the music quieted down he went downstairs. That had been his mistake. A group of drunk men had seen him before he found his parents, and they- they raped him, in turns. Grimmjow didn't like thinking about it.

He closed his trunk door, seeing his reflection for only a moment in the glass. Everyone else thought he looked dangerous with his wild blue hair and his green triangle tattoos under the corners of his eyes, but Ulquiorra didn't. And Grimmjow didn't think Ulquiorra looked constantly upset because of the green tattoos he had that flowed down the front of his face like tears, or gothic because of his naturally pale skin and dark hair. The two of them just understood each other, and had ever since they'd started dating nearly two years ago.

Now Ulquiorra was eighteen and no longer in the foster care system. He could finally be his own person, and honestly that kind of scared Grimmjow. He was afraid that after everything they'd been through Ulquiorra would find that he loved his newfound freedom and decide to cut away his only remaining weight so he could fly- and that weight was Grimmjow. That was an irrational fear, he knew; Ulquiorra simply wasn't that type of person, but still…

He heard the front door of his parents' house close and looked up to where Ulquiorra was walking towards him carrying a cooler of ice and Coca-Cola. "Is something the matter?" Ulquiorra asked immediately, seeing Grimmjow's musings on his face but not sure just what they were about. "You look a little upset."

"What?" Grimmjow asked. "Oh- no, it's nothing. I was just thinking about the trip. We have all the maps, right?"

"Your mom is grabbing the last one off the printer," Ulquiorra said. "You sure you're okay?"

"Oh, yeah," Grimmjow said, grabbing the driver's-side backseat door so Ulquiorra could put the cooler in with the rest of the apparently random crap in there. "Seriously, it's nothing. Sorry for worrying you."

"It's fine," Ulquiorra said, putting the cooler on the ground and straightening up to peck Grimmjow quickly on the lips. "Is there anything else we need to grab? We have the suitcases, snacks, drinks, our laptops, you're mom's getting the map- do you have your sunglasses?"

"Yup," Grimmjow said, putting his hands on Ulquiorra's feminine waist and smiling. "We've got it all go ahead and get in the car, babe. I'll wait for mom." Ulquiorra nodded.

"Sounds good," he said, pulling gently out of Grimmjow's arms. "Don't be long." Then he disappeared behind the car, and Grimmjow shook out his head. He was being an idiot. What he and Ulquiorra had was real and genuine, and neither one of them wanted to leave that. Besides, they had a whole week together, and they were going to the same college. If anything did happen Grimmjow felt that he could win Ulquiorra back. They had been together so long, he knew he would do anything to keep Ulquiorra by his side.

He let it fall from his mind, thinking about the upcoming trip instead. He kept thinking of it as a week, but really it would be two- one to get there, and one to get back. And it was summer, so they had all the time in the world to just dawdle if they wanted. Ulquiorra had even assented to stay in the same motel room as Grimmjow. Not the same bed, but that was still a display of the trust Ulquiorra had come to have in Grimmjow. This was going to be incredible.

His mom came trotting out, her short but well-built form jogging up to him with a paper in her hand. "Here you go, Grimmjow," she said, handing it to him and then abruptly hugging him hard around the waist. Yeah, she was an affectionate woman. "Have a good time, darling," she said, refusing to let him go.

"I will, Mama," Grimmjow said, trying to get her off without hurting her feelings. She could be pretty sensitive about that stuff, but she was just like a little kid- she always bounced back. He saw his father, a tall figure who was much calmer than his mom, come out and shake his head a little at the typical scene of 'family bonding' before him. Grimmjow sent him a look like, get her off of me!

"Let him go, dear," his dad said, jumping to the rescue like he had the incredible ability to do. "If they're going to get to the motel by the time they said they'd check in they need to get going." His mother sighed and slowly let go, and Grimmjow sent his dad a thankful look.

"Alright, fine," his mom said. "Ooo, hold on! I have to give Ulquiorra a kiss!" she ran off around the car to where Ulquiorra was sitting in the passenger seat, and Grimmjow could see Ulquiorra rolling down his window and leaning out of it to accept a kiss on the cheek. Grimmjow grinned.

He looked back to his father, who clapped him on the shoulder. "You've done really good, son," he said. "We'll see you when you get back."

"Yeah," Grimmjow said, trying to hold back a grin of total triumph. His dad had finally said the thing Grimmjow had been trying to get him to say all along. That felt damn good. "See you. We have to get going, but…"

"Gotcha," Grimmjow's dad said, patting his shoulder fondly before letting go. "Have fun- and remember your manners around Ulquiorra's foster family. We raised you to be a young man, not a hooligan."

"Yes, sir," Grimmjow said, rolling his eyes a little. His father was paranoid about him becoming a 'hooligan,' and always had been. His mom came back around and hugged him again, and then Grimmjow was clambering into his car. He looked at Ulquiorra, who smiled a little, then they both waved to his parents.

They were on their way.


	2. Chapter 2

"Alabama," Grimmjow said, pulling up to their motel.

"What?" Ulquiorra asked, looking up from his book and searching for an Alabama license plate. "Oh," he said, finding it, and Grimmjow found a parking spot not too terribly far from the motel entrance. He pulled into it, slowly on account of the car on the left who had done a really bad job parking, but he made it work.

Both he and Ulquiorra got out to stretch their legs, Grimmjow reaching up high to the night sky with a long, drawn-out grunt. It felt really good to finally be out of that car. They'd driven all day long, and since they had sandwiches in the back they didn't even stop for lunch. Gas and bathroom breaks were all they'd stopped for, so both of them were pretty eager to just stand up for a little while.

"Phew," he said, letting himself relax again. "Hey, babe," he said over the car, "you good?"

"Yeah," Ulquiorra said, slipping a bookmark into his book. "It's a nice night."

"It is," Grimmjow said, agreeing with him easily. "Right after the sun set, before we got into town, The stars were really beautiful." He pressed a button on his keys that popped the trunk up and went around the back, shaking out his arms. Ulquiorra met him, and they grabbed their suitcases. Grimmjow heaved his down and turned to help Ulquiorra, but the wheels of Ulquiorra's suitcase were already clacking loudly on the ground.

Grimmjow smiled to himself. Ulquiorra's fortitude was renowned, but it was easy to forget that he was physically strong as well. His suitcase hand't been light. Grimmjow shook his blue head and closed the trunk, leaving their other two bags there. They only needed one each for the night.

He pulled the roller hand back out of his suitcase and grabbed Ulquiorra's hand. "Alright, let's go."

Their room was actually pretty nice for a motel, Grimmjow decided. The carpets were dark green, and the wallpaper was flower patterned; a little too effeminate for either of them, but you can't complain. The bedsheets matched the walls, and there were two beds like they'd asked. Ulquiorra took the one on the left, closest to the bathroom, and he was in there now changing. Grimmjow changed into his pajama pants fast while Ulquiorra was in there, then saw that their window was cracked open and closed it.

He pulled down the blinds, blocking off his view of the little park in the middle of the motel. Yes, there was a park in the middle of the motel. It was kind of nice. It reminded him of courtyards or something, which reminded him of royalty which reminded him of damsels in distress which reminded him of Rapunzel. He smiled. He guessed in a way he was living a Rapunzel story- only his Rapunzel had locked _himself_ away, hiding from a world that had hurt him and shielding himself from his own emotions. That was exactly how he'd been the whole time Grimmjow was barking up his tree, and it took so long for him to trust Grimmjow enough to tentatively allow Grimmjow to climb up to the window. Actually coming in took a little more convincing. Looking back, he was amazed at how much they'd changed.

He chuckled to himself, remembering the frigid way Ulquiorra used to look at him. Grimmjow had been trying for him since the seventh grade, and it took him until junior year to worm his way behind Ulquiorra's nearly impenetrable mask. But he didn't regret the time he spent.

"What are you laughing at?" Ulquiorra asked, and Grimmjow turned around to find his boyfriend clambering under the covers of the bed he'd claimed as his for the night.

"Just thinking," Grimmjow replied, "about how hard-won you were." Ulquiorra looked at him.

"Am I worth it?" he asked, grabbing a hardcover book off the table between their beds and opening it, though he didn't look at it. He was looking straight at Grimmjow.

"One hundred percent," Grimmjow vowed. "You're the best thing to happen to be since I was born." He relished in Ulquiorra's small blush; his boyfriend was easily embarrassed by words of heartfelt praise. "Really, Ulquiorra," he said, voice softer, "you're amazing. I mean it."

"I- I mean the things I say about you, too, Grimmjow," he said, showing just a hint of shyness that Grimmjow was relatively certain only he had ever seen. He smiled widely.

"Thanks, babe," he said, taking a few paces and gently kissing his angel on the side of his head. He knew Ulquiorra liked it when he did that, and he liked being able to show his affection too. That was the first kind of loving contact Ulquiorra had allowed him. It was still special.

He let his eyes stray to the book that lay open on Ulquiorra's lap and found verses of poetry. He leaned his head against Ulquiorra's and silently read a little, then grimaced. "What on earth are you reading that for?" he asked, frowning at the unwanted visual of something eating its own heart.

"I like reading poetry to put me to bed," Ulquiorra replied, apparently entirely unperterbed by his reading choice.

"What kind of dreams are you planning to have? Nightmares?" he asked, even as he stored the newly-learned piece of information away to pull it out when Ulquiorra least expected it. "Let me see," he demanded, plucking the book from Ulquiorra's unsuspecting hands.

"Hey!" Ulquiorra said as Grimmjow quickly jaunted over to his own bed and flew under the covers.

"Chill," he said, turning on his side so he faced Ulquiorra as he leafed through the pages for something suitable. "Just lay down, babe." There was a pause, and then Grimmjow heard Ulquiorra comply. He, too, lay to face his partner. Grimmjow found a poem and smiled: it was "Window Tree" by Robert Frost, a poem his mother used to read to him. He shifted a little and quietly cleared his throat.

"Tree at my window, window tree," he said, letting his voice be deep and smooth like Ulquiorra liked it, "my sash is lowered when the night comes on. But let there never be curtain drawn between you and me." He looked at Ulquiorra a second, smiled a private kind of smiled and continued.

"Vague dream-head lifted out of the ground, and thing next most diffuse to cloud, not all your light tongues talking aloud could be profound. But tree, I have seen you taken and tossed..."


	3. Chapter 3

Grimmjow shifted and yawned, stretching out his body. The sun filtered in through the filmy, cream-colored curtains and he opened his eyes with a smile on his face. Something about this day felt renewing, like he was stepping onto a whole new road. He chortled a little. Well, it was true that he'd never driven this way before.

He turned just his head to look over at Ulquiorra, who was still sound asleep and curled up in his covers. He looked so...peaceful, and Grimmjow caught his breath as it threatened to fly right out of him. He hadn't ever seen Ulquiorra look so untroubled in all the years he'd known him, even after he'd worked so hard to remove the hard lines of old ghosts. Whenever he was awake Ulquiorra always looked just a little haunted, and that was part of why Grimmjow had never wanted to give up on him. But asleep, he- he looked like nothing had ever happened to him, like no one had ever touched him, like he had just stayed upstairs. Grimmjow couldn't stop staring. Ulquiorra was breathtaking.

But Grimmjow realized that he wouldn't change the Ulquiorra that he knew.

Not that he wouldn't wish that Ulquiorra would have never had to endure what he had, because he wished that every day. But...but Ulquiorra was _Ulquiorra_ because of that night and finding a way to rise above it. Grimmjow was proud of him for that. Grimmjow loved him for that. And Grimmjow suddenly doubted that changing it was worth it.

Grimmjow rolled onto his side, facing Ulquiorra's sleeping form entirely. He was content to just sit there.

He was still sitting there when Ulquiorra slowly opened his eyes thirty minutes later. It was the kind of totally natural waking up that leaves a body completely rested and a soul glad. Ulquiorra's stunningly green eyes slid open, and met Grimmjow's eyes immediately. Grimmjow smiled at him.

"Morning," Grimmjow said. "Sleep good?" Ulquiorra shifted a little, just to move his loose body.

"Mm-hm," he hummed. "Have you been awake long?"

"Not long at all," Grimmjow said. "You want to take your shower first, or can I?"

"You go ahead," Ulquiorra replied. "I don't want to get up yet."

"Hmkay," Grimmjow said, but he didn't get up just yet. There was that kind of peace that sat on you on him, and he didn't quite yet want to shake it off. He gave Ulquiorra an honest brilliant smile. "Hey," he said. "I love you." Ulquiorra smiled a little back.

"Thank you, Grimmjow," he said. Grimmjow smiled again and heaved himself out of bed.

He grabbed his clothes for the day out of his open suitcase and jaunted into the bathroom, patting Ulquiorra's feet under the covers as he passed his boyfriend's bed. It didn't bother him anymore that Ulquiorra wouldn't say that he loved him back- it had at first, but after a loud fight that had ended in an incredible revelation Grimmjow had let it go. He and Ulquiorra used to fight a lot. That was back when Ulquiorra was scared and Grimmjow as angry, and they had both needed a punching bag.

He closed the door behind himself, thinking for a second before locking it. It wasn't for his own comfort- he knew Ulquiorra wouldn't try getting in- but for Ulquiorra's. If Ulquiorra heard the click of the lock then he knew that Grimmjow couldn't just come barging out, and though Grimmjow liked to think that Ulquiorra knew he wouldn't he still wanted that extra security in case. He'd come to hate making Ulquiorra uncomfortable.

He tested the now running water for temperature before dropping his pants and his boxers and getting in. It really was incredible the course that their relationship had taken, no doubt about it. They had been so completely different people when they'd hooked up. Grimmjow still remembered Ulquiorra frigidly informing him about a month into their relationship that they were almost due to grow apart, and Grimmjow had gotten all pissed at him. Most people did grow apart; he and Ulquiorra grew parallel. They always seemed to be at a matching point, no matter how they changed, and was it just Grimmjow or was the water suddenly scalding?

Grimmjow jumped and leapt for the knob. The water was devil's-spit roasting! But he overadjusted, and the next second it was glacial. He tried to press himself to the wall, striving to get the nozzle at the single millimeter that would be comfortable. It didn't work, and he finally bailed out. Fuck, it was so cold!

He jumped out, dripping on the tiles and shivering. God, that was ridiculous. He still had shampoo in his hair! But when he put his hand in the water it was still icy cold. He grimaced.

Well, this would be fun.

Grimmjow hurried out of the bathroom, fully dressed in baggy jeans and an old Pink Floyd shirt, gripping his arms and shivering. His skin was clammy, and he swore his nose was gonna fall off if he didn't warm up _right then._

"You're doing it again," Ulquiorra commented blandly, and Grimmjow looked over to him. He sat on his bed, holding out a plate of sausage and motel waffles with a side bowl of oatmeal. Grimmjow walked over.

"You didn't have to go get breakfast, babe," he said, taking the plate and leaning down to kiss Ulquiorra's head. He plopped down heavily next to him, picking at the sausage patties. "So, what am I doing?"

"Thinking too much about what's already dead and done," Ulquiorra said, passing Grimmjow a fork. "You do that all the time, Grimmjow."

"Sorry," Grimmjow said. "I'm not trying to bug you." He knew that being caught in the past was Ulquiorra's #1 pet peeve, but whenever he wasn't thinking about not doing it he did it. Ulquiorra leaned against him.

"I know," he said, "I just wish you could stop dwelling on what doesn't matter anymore so you could be here in the present. With me."

"I _am_ with you, baby," Grimmjow said, wounded. He wrapped an arm around the smaller man.

"Only sometimes," Ulquiorra said, and Grimmjow frowned. Was he really that bad that Ulquiorra would feel abandoned? He hated that idea. He wouldn't abandon Ulquiorra for anything. He lay his chin on Ulquiorra's head.

"I'm sorry, baby," he said, "I had no idea you felt like that. I swear I'll stop it." He meant it, fervently so. Ulquiorra put a restraining hand on his chest.

"You're a history geek, Grimmjow, I get it," he said. "Think about history all yo want- in the classroom. I don't want you to sacrifice that. But please, the rest of the time you need to look forward or you'll never move." Grimmjow almost smiled. That was right- Ulquiorra was the kind of personw ho was always looking to what happened next, never pondering why a thing a had happened, always hopeful. It was the thing Grimmjow loved about the other man the most; it was what made him able to overcome any horrible event that befell him. Ulquiorra sighed.

"Look, Grimmjow..." Ulquiorra said, "life happens however it damn well pleases. Someday misfortune is gonna befall you, and when it does you'll be stuck forever if you don't stop thinking about what happened. If you don't learn that now, then you don't stand a chance." They locked eyes. "I don't want you to hurt like that, Grimmjow."

Grimmjow smiled sadly, knowing that Ulquiorra spoke from painful experience. "Thank you, Ulquiorra," he said, dropping the habitual 'baby' that he'd gotten so used to using lately. They just looked at each other for a moment, understanding the violence that filled the small room, until Ulquiorra looked away.

"I put some brown sugar in your oatmeal," Ulquiorra said, reaching for the steaming cup of coffee on the bedside table. "I brought some raisins back, too, if you want to put them in."

"Thanks, baby," Grimmjow said, spearing a piece off of his waffle. "You wanna go get your shower before we get on the road? We still have, like, 45 minutes."

"I'll do that," Ulquiorra said, standing up. "I won't be long."

"Take your time," Grimmjow said. "And watch out, the temperature's finicky."

"Thanks for the warning," Ulquiorra said, walking around Grimmjow to the bathroom, Grimmjow leaned back on one arm and watched him go. He felt like he had just gained more insight into that brilliant mind. He was glad that he would forever be having that feeling. He heard the click of the lock, and sat back to wait. He grabbed the raisins.


End file.
